Sharpening Your Own Silver Tongue
Recently, I have learned a few valuable lessons when it has come to interacting with those around me. The biggest one has most certainly been: boundaries. Whether it be setting a firm foot down on feelings on a matter or simply making sure my walls around were built up to block out some pretty extreme toxic behavior. Boundaries always come in handy. The raw truth is, some folks just drain the hell out of me spiritually and emotionally, on purpose or without intention. Either way, it’s exhausting. My ‘cup’ is usually sitting at half full and it seems that there exist entities out there that love to empty a person’s cup without the offering to refill it. In my quest to assert myself with boundaries, confidence and the quaint notion that I am not meek or small, I have a voice and that damn, I do matter; people do get offended on those notions rather quickly.
Loki spake:
“Why sit ye silent, | swollen with pride, Ye gods, and no answer give?“
Let us take a few notes from the Lokasenna, the ”Loki’s Flyting” or as some folks would call it, the first rap battle in history.
In reality and the context of it all, we have Loki who shows up and lays out the dirty laundry of the Æsir one by one. In wit and banter of course. I’m not suggesting that you call everyone over for a feast and do this yourself (save it for Thanksgiving) What I am suggesting is that, like Loki, you find the courage to call out those around with toxic and inflated ego’s that no longer serve you. This also includes yourself. With the end of the year approaching, it’s perfectly acceptable and necessary to look inward and decide what needs to stay and what needs to go. Even more before we look outwards and start having a bit of our own ‘Flyting’. Shadow work can be both painful and extremely liberating. If you already work with/honor Loki, I’m sure you already know the depths of inner work it takes to liberate and truly find yourself out. It’s terrifying to put yourself through your own Lokasenna but worth it.
Othin spake: 10. “Stand forth then, Vithar, | and let the wolf’s father Find a seat at our feast;
Lest evil should Loki | speak aloud Here within Ægir’s hall.”
The hardest truth I have ever had to believe is that I could in fact call someone out on their toxic behavior. Any behavior that was harmful to me, others around me or behavior that was harmful to themselves. When using your silver tongue, this isn’t meant to be out of malice and hatred but quite opposite. It is meant to be used in tact and precise lashes that hit every target intended. Be prepared of course for those who don’t appreciate the shout outs. It’s only human to be flawed and even more human to detest being called out on the flaws. Standing up for one’s self should be the first tool in our belts of self-care, yet it’s so drastically underutilized. We often tend to want to roll over and be quiet for the sake of the keeping others comfortable at the demise of our own comfort. I jump back to my earlier statement about my cup never seeming to get filled again from those who empty it. Those are the folk who want my silence for their own comfort but detest it when I silence myself no more. You don’t require company such as that around. Your light should always be shining bright and be a source of warmth for those enjoy it and yet those who enjoy your warmth should always be willing to allow their light to warm you as well. Give and take. They shouldn’t fear your silver tongue and in turn you shouldn’t fear their own.
Self-growth and the growth of others is not a personal attack. I couldn’t repeat that anymore these past two weeks if I tried. Flyting, a silver tongue, boundaries and self-defense are not a personal attack against yourself and or on someone else. The sheer notions of self-care are not you or another being selfish or rude. You in defense of your own personal beliefs of self, emotional and mental well-being sometimes an act of sacrifice of relationships we are forced to make. Don’t feel guilty for making the choices or allow others to make you feel guilty for making those. Like the cunning of the Trickster, it’s perfectly fine to stand up for yourself and others to call out awful behaviors. I highly recommend it.
As we head out of 2019 and into the new decade, let us all hold our own Lokasenna. Taking a long self-reflection before we sharpen our tongues. Before we take aim at the toxic behaviors around us. Shed ourselves of our baggage that no longer serves us. Only when we recognize what traits and behaviors no longer serve us can we apply that to the world around us.
Learn to say ‘No’ and stop apologizing for the things we needn’t say sorry for.
-Brandr
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