Accepting a Tricksters Shakeup
Undoubtedly, this has been one of the roughest years I have yet to endure. Between relocating between two different states, living through an abusive relationship mentally, physically and emotionally; tossed about like a rag doll financially and left with pretty much nothing. These past few months have been like living through an intense hurricane that is just now giving up it’s wrath of hail and winds. I’ve been feeling rather stripped raw, if I’ll be transparent here.
When I had to leave my abusive situation, I was forced to quickly take what I could and leave so much behind in a hurry. This meant a lot of my spiritual tools as well. Pretty much of all of my altar tools I had for years now, precious items and books, tarot cards and runes, pictures and stones. All gone. I’m quite sure the person that they were left to (unfairly) has long by now trashed them or destroyed them.
I didn’t see any value in this happening until recently, until any of this. I think, rightly, I have and still have every reason to be angry. It will take a long time for me heal from the hurt and damage that was caused to me from all that has happened. However, I also know that truly in my heart that I was growing deeply stagnant in my situation back home. My practice in faith was diminishing and failing, I was falling into dull routines and was growing too comfortable in my comfort zones.
I think for those of us who honor Loki, we can often forget the duties that come along with that. Growth and change being the often heaviest. We can become used to the world around us, too comfortable with the surroundings and comfort zones we find ourselves in. Loki has been my reminder lately about shackles. Both physically and mentally. Those put on us and the ones we put on ourselves. As someone who lives with chronic fatigue and depression, those are shackles I deal with but I can also choose how to deal with those. I can also choose what shackles I allow others to put on me. Boundaries I set for myself.
Instead of thinking I was left with nothing, Loki has left me with valuable tools. I now know and am reminded of how strong that I am to survive so much awful and terrible behaviors. I am reminded of the good in others despite seeing the worst, the duality of humanity. Boundaries and extremely important. Shackles are meant to be broken.
The loss of my spiritual tools has left me empty handed and to start completely over. I mourn the loss of them however I understand why they were stripped from my life. The cunningness of the Trickster never ceases to amaze at any time. I get your message loud and clear.
I will end this by seeing that instead of fearing extreme change, instead of fearing the unknown, we should embrace it. Embrace the path before us, even if we are unsure where that path may lead.
I took many risks this year, some paid off, some ended in pain.
I’m so much stronger for it in the end.
-Brandr
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